If you were looking for a blog that is well organized, well written, and professional...Allow me to apologize.


Life Lessons 1-5

For all 5 of you who read this blog, you will be sad to know that soon I will be posting a bit less, as I am about to go back to school.

Before I do go back, I wanted to impart to you some of the things that I have learned about life over my 20+ years. I plan to write more later, but here are the first 5:

1. Anything worth doing is not easy.
This is practically the meaning of life, and all of us want to deny it. We're always inventing things to make our tasks easier like diet pills, drive-thru windows, electric scissors, delivery services, and let's not forget the internet. The only things that can't actually be made easier are the truly rewarding things like long-term relationships, raising children, taking care of your health, completing degrees, etc. The number 1 difficult thing that's totally worth doing? Living your life just the way you want to.

2. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.
This goes hand in hand with the first. Be debt free today! Get a free iPod by answering the easiest pop culture question EVER! Lose 30 pounds in 1 day! Living in America especially, you have to remember that you can't believe everything you hear.

3. There is no such thing as perfect or the best.
This is VERY difficult for me to accept, because I am a textbook perfectionist. I like to have the best grades, to run the fastest, and to do the best at work. I have learned over the years, however, that no matter how hard you work, there IS NO PERFECT. In addition, no matter how good you are, there is most likely at least one person out there who's better. This is just the reality of things. What you are allowed to do once you know this is to have fun with your abilities. So what if you have a 3.8 instead of a 4.0? You learned something, and it was sort of fun, wasn't it?

4. No one has the answer.
There was a period of years in my life when I was obsessed about finding the answer to all my problems and the meaning of life. A lot of people do things like this. I had my face buried in a book all the time, trying to figure out what it's all about. The thing is, if someone knew the answer to all of our problems, we wouldn't have them anymore. In addition, if someone knew the meaning of life, we'd probably have really boring existances. I'd like to point out that I know NOTHING about philosophy, so don't get mad at me if I've bungled this one up.

5. The only thing that can make you happy is YOU.
Not a doctor, a pill, a book, "a program", money, food, love, sex, TV...It's all up to you. The only person who controls your emotions is you. You always hear people say "If only I had __________, I'd be happy". Sadly, once they have it, they'll realize that it's not enough. Strange but true, no?


Go Cowboys! Here, take my money and build a new stadium!

In a few more days I will again be seeing this site several times a week on the way to school. Seeing the new Cowboys Stadium being built has been really overwhelming. I didn't realize just what a huge deal it was until I read this article in Wired describing how state of the art it is. I may actually have to do and check it out. Someone will have to explain football to me first, though.

The Reality of "Talent"

I always thought that despite all the craziness and red neckiness that Britney Spears is in possession of, she was chosen for her looks and her small but adequate dose of talent.
After seeing the following video, I have realized that the aforementioned assumption may have been wrong.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I know she's breathing hard in a lot of it, but for God's sake, she sounds like that horrible overzealous girl at karaoke who constantly wants to do "I Will Survive" but never comes in right on cue.


People you will meet at your gym

When you go to the gym 3-6 times a week like many people do, you start seeing the same faces at the gym over and over again. What you may not know is that many gym rats fall into categories that are universal at all gyms. Here now are some of the different people that you will meet at the gym.

-Won't Stop F**king Talking Lady/Guy

There are people who have friends at the gym. Personally, I only have non-fit friends. It helps me feel better about myself. Anywhoo, as one of those people who listens to music/watches videos at the gym, I notice a lot of people talking, because they often talk way too loud for me to hear my music/video. I don't see how you talk comfortably while working out anyway. I know that you're supposed to be able to, but I work really hard. People who work out in classes are even worse about this. Sometimes they just stand around after class for hours talking. Do these people go to work at some point?? Lastly, it is important to note that there are people who talk to themselves or make loud noises at the gym, and they also belong in this category. There used to be a guy at my gym who used the same cardio machine every day, and he must've listened to stand up comedy during his workout, because every few minutes he would laugh VERY LOUDLY. I always wondered what the Hell was so funny. Here is another article about people who talk at the gym.

-Creepy Short Shorts/Sweatband Guy
I don't understand this guy. Typically an older man, he wears shorts that worry all of us. Also found quite often with one of those terry cloth headbands. He doesn't know what's going on.

-That "What the hell is (s)he doing??" Guy/Girl
It's that guy who skips on the treadmill or the girl who uses the cable machine in a way you've never seen before. It makes you wonder: a.)WTF?? b.) What muscle group is that working? c.) Should I start doing that?

-The "Too Much to Do" Guy/Girl
There are not a whole lot of people who love to go to the gym. That's why there are people who bring all sorts of things to make the gym more like home. For instance, I have an iPod touch, so I like to load movies onto it to pass time and to stop me from thinking about having to work out next to complete strangers. There are people, however, who take this into overkill. If you are trying to take the entire Sunday edition of USA Today onto the treadmill with you, that's a little much. Also people who drink coffee on a cardio machine sort of frighten me. How can you DO that without getting sick or burning yourself? I even saw a woman doing a crossword puzzle on the elliptical once. Are you freaking CRAZY????

So next time you see one of these people at the gym, remember that I have one at my gym too. :-)

The Interwebz Says I'm Smart

NameThatDisease.com - The Disease Test
Good news: I am a great doctor. If you were to be in need of an operation, I might be able to do it. And I will only charge you $37. (I found this quiz at Look at This...)

NameThatSerialKiller.com - The Serial Killer Test
I am also not too bad at identifying serial killers, which is good.

NameThatDrug.com - Identify The Drug
Finally, you will notice that I am fairly knowledgeable about drugs. I would like to say, in my defense, that I just took a class about them. ...No, really.

Go and take these tests, so that if you see a Leper trying to buy drugs who is dangerously close to a serial killer, you can be of some help. Yeah.



My friend Kyle and I went to the Addison Improv last night and got to see my favorite actor from Queer as Folk - Hal Sparks!!!! It was so, so fun. He was very funny onstage, and very sweet to us after. If you're in the Dallas area, you can still catch him tonight or tomorrow. I promise you'll have a great time.


An open letter to MTV about their remake of Rocky Horror

Dear MTV,

You probably don't remember me, because we haven't talked since the mid-90's. The thing is, you've managed to piss me off even more than usual this time, so I thought we should have a little talk.

Today I read AGAIN that you will be remaking The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was hoping in vain that this little rumor would disappear, but here it is again. Sometimes I wonder if the people who run your television channel are mentally ill.

I wouldn't have been angry if you remade Grease or A Chorus Line or The Wiz or some other musical movie. See, the problem isn't the MUSICAL. By it's very nature, a musical cannot be made sacred, because it's always changing a bit in every stage production. The problem is the MOVIE.

When you mess with Rocky Horror Picture Show fans, you are messing with the same people who go whenever they can to watch the same movie on Saturdays at midnight, people who memorize the timing of the movie so that they can perform it or shout at the screen and throw toilet paper at the right time. Some of them spend vast amounts money and time trying to get this movie shown at their local theater so they can perform in front of it. They get exact costume and prop replicas and go to conventions based around THIS ONE MOVIE. These are the same people you are about to piss off.

The image of Dr. Frank, the lips, the Time Warp, these things are iconic. Why do you want to change them for a new generation? Can't you just leave things the same? Why do you want to slap a "new and improved" sticker on EVERYTHING??

If you MUST release this stupid remake, please promise me you won't recast the roles with pop stars. Possibly actors, or even people who have previously appeared in the musical. Don't put a "cool, fresh spin" on any of the songs. PLEASE. PLEASE!!!!

Also, don't add new songs. You are horrible people if you add songs. You know what? You're just horrible people. Period.


Monkey around while you get fit

Fit Sugar had a great post today about the idea of working out on a playground. I thought the idea was fabulous personally. Not only am I already at the park jogging, but I've been looking for a good excuse to go to the playground for ages. You might already have one. Namely, your children.

Playground Workout

Now you're eating with POWER!

I just spotted this great post on Life Hacker that links to a site where you can make your old Nintendo into a lunch box!! It's a great idea, especially if you want to reveal to all your friends at work what a big geek you are. And you know you have a broken Nintendo lying around somewhere.


24 important things I learned from 24. (SPOILERS GALORE FROM SEASON 1-5)

I used to make fun of people for watching 24, but now that I am catching up on it, I realize that it kicks butt. So now, here is my list of 24 things to take away from this series, that I learned from watching seasons 1-5. (BTW, if anyone comments on this, please do not ruin season 6 for me or I will cry.)

1. The terror alert level should always be red.
No matter where they come from or what their preferred method of killing us all might be, terrorists are hatching their plots every day. That's why CTU is so important. Because no matter what time of day it is, there's someone out there actively hating our freedom.

2. You probably know a terrorist.
It might be your coworker, your lover, your neighbor...Maybe even someone in the White House. Regardless, I would remember that the only people you can trust are those who work for government agencies. Well...some of them anyway.

3. A lot can happen in one day.

For instance, you can watch 24 episodes of 24 and still have a little time to go to the restroom and sleep. Oh, and also Jack Bauer can save us all.

4. Being the President is hard.
There are lots of life or death decisions to be made, and they must be made NOW. The problem is that even after you make your decision, a rogue agent may disobey your order. Also, chances are that your wife is crazy and someone is trying to kill you. Now do you know why Bush runs to Crawford so much?

5. Most terrorists are foreign.

I'M SORRY!!!! That's just what I learned. On 24, I would say about 75% of terrorists are from a foreign country. The good news is that many of them are not Middle Eastern, so that's totally not racist. ...Let's do the next one before I get more uncomfortable.

6. The President spends most of his time in Los Angeles.

And so do the terrorists. Screw Washington D.C., if you really want to be where all the action is, go to L.A.

7. If your job is to save the world, you probably have a lot of personal problems.

Forget about time to raise a family, care about a relationship, or take care of yourself. If you work at CTU, you might as well expect not to have a very good personal life. So you never got to tell your son that you loved him. So what? There are terrorists out there. Get to work.

8. If you need info, try torture.

What do you need? Never mind, doesn't matter. The answer is torture. About 99% of the people interrogated on the show tell CTU what they need to know.

9. If torture doesn't work, make a deal.

Do not negotiate, shmu not negotiate. We need results. The word "immunity" can conjure up a lot of information from terrorists, so why not play ball?

10. Fighting terror makes you cranky.

The people at CTU are not very nice people, generally. The only really nice ones generally have very bad things happen to them and their families. But it's okay. They don't work in retail, they fight terror.

This is probably the most important of all the things I've learned. Bombs, bullets, nerve gas, Heroin, you name it, it can't kill Jack Bauer. Can't blame them for trying. It makes you wonder why everyone on the show doesn't just follow Jack around constantly. I think as long as you're 20 ft or less away from him, then you are also untouchable.

12. Jack Bauer is above the law.
This one is also important. Bauer constantly violates the orders of CTU and the President, but it doesn't matter because they need him to save America. If you want to avoid getting arrested, take a lesson from Jack and make yourself indispensible.

13. If you are friends with Jack Bauer, prepare to get your life messed up.
Jack Bauer may seem like a cool person to know, but he's not. If you stand up for him or love him, you or your loved ones could end up dead. He may also end up torturing you for some reason. Try to stay as far away from him emotionally as possible. Even his own daughter knows that.

14. Everyone has feelings!! *tear*
It's not easy being Jack. He doesn't have any time for the important things in life, like love or friendship. As the series unfolds, we see that the poor agents at CTU are not made of stone, and that even Bauer cries. ...Yes, you heard me.

15. No one at CTU ever eats.

I know that this is a symptom of most TV shows, but come on! We watch them for 24 hours straight (the show is in real time) and they never stop to eat. I seem to remember Jack drinking some water in S1 and seeing some coffee at CTU, but that's IT! Order some Freedom Fries or something!

16. Don't get involved with someone from work.

It's not a good idea in real life, and it's not a good idea at CTU. Bad things will happen.

17. People with their own agenda don't really care about America.

No matter how many times they tell you that they're patriots for doing so, helping terrorists is not some crazy backhanded scheme to help America. No matter what you tell him, Jack will still torture you.

18. If you can't run fast enough to get out of harm's way, you will die.

Don't get me wrong. Edgar was one of my favorite characters of S4 and 5, and I have nothing against overweight people. But he's a great example of this rule. So is his mother, for that matter.

19. The American people are incredibly stupid.

If a bunch of people died in a mall, would you really believe that a poisonous gas was accidentally released into the vents? Things are always happening in the series that they come up with a "cover story" for, and we Americans just eat that up and stop asking questions. It's probably the fault of this next one...

20. Everyone important ONLY watches Fox News.

(Note: This is a REAL Fox News logo)
If you watch carefully, the one and only news channel featured in episodes of 24 is Fox News. The President watches it, civilians watch it, and they watch it at CTU.

21. CTU needs to rethink its hiring procedures.
With all the moles, incompetent people, and downright fools who've worked for CTU over the first 5 seasons, you'd think that someone would do something. I would suggest background checks, and drug testing. (Sorry, Jack.)

22. You have liscence to do almost anything as long as you have a badge and you yell a lot.
Jack Bauer has gotten away with rediculous things just by prefacing them with: "My name is Jack Bauer, I'm a federal agent. I need to (insert name of crazy thing) NOW!!!!"

23. No one person's life is as important as the lives of the American people.
To a federal agent, this rule should be clear. coughTONYcough

24. Explosions and gunplay are AWESOME.
Just thought you should know that.


Today in Sheep News...

Anyone who knows me personally knows about my penchant for keeping up on the goings on of the sheep world. It's important, because heaven knows when the uprising will come.

Recently, a sheep somehow managed to make it on to a roof in the U.K. He fell off the roof, unfortunately, but was unharmed except for a broken leg. They say that somehow he got into a garden that leads onto the roof but you never know. Maybe Monty Python was onto something...