Courtesy at the gym

As a self proclaimed gym rat, the gym is like my second home. I try to be as polite as possible at the gym, and hope others would do the same. Here are some tips for not annoying the heck out of people at the gym. And by "people", I mean me.

• Whenever possible, leave a 1 machine buffer. This doesn't really apply in the weights area, but in the cardio area this is a must. If the gym is crowded, I understand you working out on the machine next to me, but when the gym is empty and I don't know you, it's sort of awkward to have you right there next to me. When I'm doing cardio I sweat and flap my arms around, and I don't want to have to be worried about sweating or flapping right next to you. It's uncomfortable.
• Don't exaggerate your grunting in the weights area. Look, I know that sometimes you are lifting really heavy weights, and it helps to grunt just a little bit. Heck, even I make a little sound when I'm trying to push it. But there is a difference between appropriate and creepy. You other gym rats know what I'm talking about. There's always that one guy over there who looks and sounds like someone just stabbed him in the chest, screaming his lungs out. If you sound like that, you should move the peg down to a lower weight. I'm concerned for you when you scream like that.
• Wear a f***ing shirt and pants. I know you work hard. You look great. That's really what I think. But I don't know you, and I'm not going to come up to you and complement you regardless of what you wear. So lets put a shirt over our sports bra, and lets wear pants that cover all the parts of our booty. Seriously. It's not necessary for you to come into the gym with almost nothing on.
  

• Don't flirt with women half your age. You are the only person in the gym who's flirting, that's one thing. But just because you have muscles, that doesn't give you the liscence to flirt with teenagers. That's a separate issue that also goes outside the gym. The fact that they flirt back doesn't matter. You are a creepy man, and I want to mace you in the face.

So that's it. I hope that you benefitted from my helpful tips on how not to annoy me.